On content, process and relation...

In modern human interaction, there are basically three dimensions that influence the effectiveness of the coorporation between two (or more) people:
- Content (e.g. WHAT, the issue at hand, what do we want to reach together, solve, do, work on, etc)
- Process (e.g. HOW, in what way, through what steps, will we get to the objectives, and the required content, who will do what when why)
- Relation (e.g. WE - how do we relate, trust eachother, help eachother, like eachother)

Picture the following example situation:
Consultant is creating a beautifull BPM architecture (content).
Presents it to his key stakeholder.
Key stakeholder says "NO, I don't think this is a good BPM architecture...."
while thinking "because I don't trust you, and you don't seem to focus on my issues...."
Consulant says "Oh, I will try to improve the BPM architecture" while thinking
"Why is this architecture wrong, I worked soo hard, I dislike this person!"

I've been there.....
My lessons (learned the hard way):
- Be aware of these three dimensions (maybe there is even a fourth - spiritual, but that's an other story...)
- Realize that handling each dimension well requires different skills, and that skills of one dimension are often useless in the other dimensions (ever tried to create a projectplan (=process) to build your relation?)
- Keep the communication open - build the relationship for this, and when given feedback or decisions try to find out where it comes from (e.g. what dimension). Don't mix it up as the example person did (which was, of course, me....)